I ate at Schlotzky’s for lunch yesterday, the mediterranean pizza. I bet it was extremely nutritional. Sorry body. And while I’m sure there was a better nutritional alternative for satisfying my hungry stomach, I don’t know what it should have been. And even if I did, knowing and doing are two very different things.

The problem with eating right while out is that one, I don’t know what I should be eating, and two, I don’t know where to get it. I’m sure there is a website for healthy alternatives for popular “restaurants.” Yes, it’s going to take me a while to get off of fast food. Cold turkey? Maybe I can keep some in my pocket.

Along with eating right, I’m looking for an exercise program that uses your own body weight for the entire workout. No exercise equipment (sheer lack of space) or gym memberships (don’t want the expense) for me.

I guess I’m looking for an exercise program developed by prisoners of high security prisons. A prison workout. Prisoners don’t have much in the form of workout equipment, right? It’s not like they can hall around dumbbells or medicine balls. Their own body weight — that’s what they use.

Turns out there is an exercise program, and I’ve been introduced to it before. The routine revolves around a single exercise, which is really a combination of several individual exercises all wrapped into one — the burpee. There’s no need to explain it with the written word, but if you must, check the description of a burpee at Wikipedia.

The burpee workout is done in descending sets. It’s said that 20 descending sets of burpees and you’re considered a man, 25 and people think twice before messing with you, 30 and you’re a badass.